JC Penney 50th Birthday Hit List from A to Z

Doug "JC" Penney turned 50 this past year (2000) and some of us got together to give him a tribute at the Lodi tournament. What follows is a collection of quips about JC (all in jest, but some sadly true) which correspond with each letter of the alphabet. We came up with these on relatively short notice so if you have a better quip for any letter, let us know and we can add to the list. Read on and enjoy.

A - Always wears a cup, even to the office
B - Baserunning is an oxymoron
C -
Catches a cold more often than the ball
D -
Donnie has a better arm than dad
E -
F -
Four bounces to 2nd isn't bad
G -
Got the umpire again
H -
Hangover helps
I -
Interference is my middle name
J -
Jumps as high as a slice of cheese
K -
L -
Last line drive in '55
M -
Mask makes face palatable
N -
Nuprin is my special friend
O -
Only candidate for a triple play
P -
Every three innings
Q -
Quickly runs out of gas
R -
Radar gun won't register
S -
Slow, slump, strikeout... pick one
T -
Third place in a race with a pregnant lady
U -
Unusual batting stance
V -
Veeva, with her broken leg, runs faster than you
W -
X -
Drop that xylaphone off your back
Y -
Because we like him
Z -
Zero for 12 at Zupo